The Unbearable Lightness Of Being, Or To Strong Women Dedicated

The days when a woman’s strength was in her weakness are gone. Ambitious, independent, successful - this is a portrait of a modern strong woman. One after another, the peaks submit to her. She never stops. People look up to her. They envy her. She controls her emotions. With her pride intact she takes any blows of fate. Books could be written about her suffering. Contrary to this she is always smiling. That’s where the real power is!

These are not the dubious female practices that open chakras. These are not femininity trainings teaching to lay all problems of the world on the man’s shoulders. These are not dream-making practices involving a state of relaxation and acceptance.

A strong woman is the world’s reality, the answer to the time’s demands. A woman relying only on herself.

Is it all so obvious? Of course, no.

MYTHS THAT HINDER US

A strong woman’s image has been created not in one day. Myths are being created with zeal and stick to an exquisite image like bad jewelry. They cheapen, perplex, but they are rather available.

Myth 1. Strong woman = ideal woman. Ideality is in everything she does, says, transmits. A strong woman doesn’t have a right to make a mistake.

Reality. Strong woman = destroyer of ideality. She is not afraid of being herself, making her own mistakes, not meeting ideal expectations of others. She doesn’t take her mistake as a loss or a threat to her reputation. Her strength is in fact that a mistake is another step to her priceless experience and wisdom.

Myth 2. A strong woman is always calm and in harmony. She is not able to show negative emotions. Nobody will know what she really feels.

Reality. A strong woman can show all her emotions. She accepts the positive and negative ones. She can speak out what she dislikes and why. She dots the I’s and crosses the t’s from the very beginning. She does not pretend that everything is fine when it is not so.

Myth 3. A strong woman has a successful career. Otherwise, is she strong at all? She has to achieve a respected position, earn big money, and even better – organize her own business.

Reality. Strong women can always be found in happy families. Building your own business and a happy family are tasks for definitely strong women. Not everyone can cope with both of them. Where to show her strength, potential and inspiration – only a woman decides.

Myth 4. A strong woman will cope with everything by herself. No one will not solve a difficult situation or problem better than her. Remember, a strong woman counts only on herself.

Reality. A strong woman always stays a Woman. A woman’s nature is such that she never remains alone. A strong and wise woman understands it. That’s why she knows that there is help in any situations. She is always ready to accept a different result than the one she has planned. She is able to trust and to ask for help. Mildly, in a feminine way, not demanding toughly. 

Myth 5. A strong woman is doomed to meet only weak men. In addition, those who will brazenly use her. And she, as a real strong woman, will saddle herself with everything. A weak man is a strong woman’s curse.

Reality. There is an indisputable fact – a woman herself chooses her man. A question is why she chooses the weak ones. Answer this question frankly – and you will start to choose different ones. But truth is only for the strong ones. Besides, if a woman has got used to struggle all her life, she will continue this game with a man, too. And as an experienced player, often subconsciously, she will choose weak men. It is easier to defeat them and to prove again who is stronger and more important.

SELF-SACRIFICE IS NOT FOR THE STRONG ONES

Apart from the myths, a strong woman’s image is used on the verge of self-sacrifice. Behind a mask of a strong woman victims lacking spirit to break with painful relationship hide. Not telling the truth to face, when someone offends you or brazenly violates your personal boundaries. Not choosing yourself when you feel that you are manipulated or used. They don't say hard “NO” without guilt. 

Of course, it is more pleasant to claim yourself strong when the weakness is dressed in neat robes of decency and rules of decorum, than to admit your cowardice. But this is the starting point which will let you change the situation and turn from a victim with a mask of a strong woman into a really happy woman, free from conventions, expectations, tension and struggle. And this requires remarkable strength.

Strength to:

1.       Choose yourself in all situations when there is a choice between your own happiness and peace and other people’s needs meeting.
2.       Say “yes” to your desires and dreams. Even if they are not shared. These are YOUR dreams.
3.       Do what you like and not do what you dislike. Strength in the right of choice.
4.       Finish relationship, cooperation, conversation which bring you pain, energy loss and exhaustion. Even when you don’t know what happens next.
5.       Let yourself have the best. Not agree for the lesser, for a notorious bird in the hands, for substitutes.
6.       Treat yourself as the most precious person in the world. Every time when making a decision, think what a self-loving and self-respecting person would do.
7.       Accept yourself with all treasures and special effects. Not to compare, not to devaluate, not to remake. Accept yourself – and you will be able to become anyone, but remain yourself.

So, in my opinion, a strong woman is the one who lets herself be happy, live with taste, bring joy to herself and to the world. And how she will do it – in family or career, with husband or alone, with hard work or lightness of being, with passion or calmly, giving birth to children or creating projects – this is a woman’s choice. And choice is a strong women’s privilege.

Be happy, strong woman!