Tasty Monster or Food Is Nothing To Do With It

“Two desires are constantly struggling inside of me at the same time – to lose weight and to eat.

The last one wins more often”. Elchin Safarli

The mankind is doomed to eat. Eat to live. But in reality, most of us eat for completely different reasons. In the modern world food is no longer a resource for which everybody once struggled, which was hard to get, which was in short supply. Today there is plenty of food for every taste and budget.

So, what makes us, women who know a lot about nutrition, diets, diverse wellness systems, become the hostages of the stomach?

1. Family traditions. Yes, all problems are from the childhood – this rule is valid regarding food, too. It was in childhood that we were encouraged, praised, rejoiced via tasty food. This is why you eat when you are sad and joyful, when you are tired and have energy, when you want to support yourself or completely slow down. It is a lot harder to learn how to show and understand your own emotions, than to transfer them into food.
2. Food is like a luxury item. Don’t you believe? Try to remember how many beautiful, appetizing photos of food you have seen. Not of simple, but exquisite and expensive food. Subconsciously food is perceived as a sign of wealth. That is why different delicacies are bought for you to eat them then with a sense of self-worth.
3. I can’t live without sweets/pastry/put down something yours – it is a first sign of food addiction which is equated to drug addiction. If you have refused sugar for at least once in your life you know that on a certain day you don’t simply want something sweet, you physically feel withdrawals: headache, nervousness, nausea. This is why it is better to get rid of such addictions being accompanied by the specialists – dietologists, nutritionists, endocrinologists.
4. Impossibility to get what you want. Goal achievement is compensated by food. In other words, if you cannon get something desired, then food becomes your desire.
5. Inability/undesirability to work with your psychological state. In such case food is the best psychotherapist. You get into the eternal therapy: you have comfort eaten – and you feel better. But the problem has not disappeared. And as soon as it gets actual – you turn to the plate again.

Of course, there are a lot more reasons of eating disorders, and I’m sure that you know about yours.

The question is what to do with them all?

What should you do when all diets, austerities, public promises are tried, but there is no sustainable result? You lose weight and then gain it back. You limit yourself and then you cannot stop. You blame yourself and then find a bunch of rock-solid excuses.

The first thing to do is to stop struggling. Instead, acknowledge that you have a part of your personality which cannot eat fill, is sweet addicted, can’t stand any diets or limitations. Trust me, there are some reasons for it. Which ones? You could know about them only when you accept and love this part of yourself.

We sometimes hide our own needs in overweight. For example, a woman works a lot and hardly has any rest. Her needs are to have a good sleep, change a picture, arrange a lazy day for herself. But she can’t (why she's decided so is another question). Instead, she starts a rest while eating. Mothers in their maternity leaves often use such a strategy. Having changed her behavior and having satisfied her need for rest, the woman will stop developing relaxation by eating.

No less interesting is a fact that food may also be a punishment. A woman punishes herself for unsuccessful relationships, failures or mishaps. In such case she choses completely unhealthy food, as if “poisoning” herself. However, if you give yourself a right for mistake, accept your negative experience and yourself as the one who fails in something, the need for punishment disappears at all. No one is guilty – no one should be punished.

One more weird method of eating behavior normalization is to talk to food.

You can do it in your mind not to cause unnecessary questions and unjustified diagnoses'-)

So, look at your cake. It is so beautiful and appetizing. Ask about what it will give you when you eat it. Remind yourself that it will surely bring you empty carbohydrates, fats, cellulite, heaviness in your stomach.

Does it bring you relaxation? - Hmm, but why don’t you let yourself relax? How can you do it in another way? Have a walk, watch a light romantic movie, have a massage. Look how many options you have!

And now look at the beautiful and seducing cake again. Do you like it? - Maybe, it’s better to leave it as a masterpiece and only admire it. How do you like this option?

Communicating with food in such a way you could not only understand the reasons of comfort eating, but also eventually change your own eating behavior. If you have a problem you should solve it, not eat it. Stress, relationships problems, loss of life orientations are reasons to seek for professional help, but not to pack the fridge hoping that everything will be dissolved.

Body, soul and mind are the parts of a single system. While you are struggling with your body and not feeling your soul’s needs, you are losing. While you are working at yourself and not feeling your body, you are losing. But mind is always on your side. Even when it explains your relapses or why you can’t do something.

Set another task to your brain and you will be convinced that it will help you build the right relationship with food!