Translation Difficulties, or How to Find Understanding Between Men And Women
- Doesn't he really feel me? – a woman feels aggrieved.
- Doesn't she really understand me? – a man thinks.
A lot of misunderstandings begin from this very moment. Cause women mostly feel, and men mostly think.
A woman may not ask about your mood, not ask additional questions, not know and do. Because she – feels! She feels when something is wrong with her man. She can’t explain it logically, but feelings can’t be deceived. She can easily guess how a sentence or some story would end. She can start doing something without reading a manual, because she already understands everything.
Men are totally different! They are much worse at reading the emotional state. Yes, they see this unpretty wrinkle at the ridge, frowning eyebrows and tight lips, but if a woman doesn’t tell what has happened, he will wander in conjecture. A man understands. He better understands things that are explained logically, made clear as a bell, having structure and definition. Have you met a man who doesn’t read instructions for equipment, medicines etc.?
How such different creatures could find understanding between each other?
Firstly, you should admit the fact that women and men are different. Both externally and emotionally. Besides, men and women also perceive and transfer information in different ways. For men the logical course of thought is important, and sometimes we could start from the end. While women appreciate the story behind, they easily take skipping from one thought to another and, after a verbal peak, return to the starting point.
Secondly, they should learn to speak their partner’s language, if they want to be heard. On the other hand, you should teach your partner to understand your language. So that after you say “I’m so sick”, your partner did not recommend you a specialist to visit, but just gave you a hug, made you a cup of coffee or treated you with something tasty.
Thirdly, no matter how different men and women are, we are not struggling with each other to be the best, the most right, the smartest. Rivalry between partners happens when there is no mutual support between a woman and a man. Then victories and successes of one of the partners are taken as another partner’s loss. Learn to be sincerely happy for your man. But in no case devalue yourself to please a partner. If you often find yourself in such a situation then it is a reason to ask yourself: why have I chosen a partner who devalues me?
Fourthly, stay a woman in relationships with a man. Such positions as “I want to help him”, “I know what is better”, “I need him to understand it, too”, “if I do not control him, he will do everything wrong” are mother’s positions. It is difficult for a man to be with such a woman-mother. He will spend more and more time outside the walls of the family nest created by you to your taste and discretion. He will rebel against you, filling the relationships with rumpus and quarrels. A woman’s main trump card is a man ready to take care of her. A huge minus of the mother position – you take responsibility on yourself to take care of you man. The choice is yours.
Fifthly, a man and a woman experience crises and conflicts totally differently. A woman has to talk, cry, breathe out. That’s why she subconsciously looks for listeners: a man, mother, colleague, friend, etc. A man, on the contrary, needs peace and loneliness. Do not arrange for him a harsh interrogation with a derisory oath “I can help you”. Why? Because a man needs to stay alone for some time, to think about everything, to make a decision. Only after that he will return to you. Give your partner time, do not hurry him. Be there. As a woman.
Finally, let yourself feel and let a man think.
It does not mean that women should not use their intellectual potential. It means to give a man an opportunity to show his one. For a woman her state is much more important. It is her state which creates magic that fascinates men. While for men their achievements, stories of success and victories, including the ones over themselves, are principal. So let them make it. Make him stronger with your feelings, and let him take responsibility for hard decisions.
Use the above lifehacks and soon the difficulties with translation will change to unspoken understanding.
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